Anger Management for Kids:

Jun 5

My Therapist Must Haves (with links)

If you work with kids, chances are anger shows up in your therapy room on a regular basis. Whether it's emotional outbursts, frustration tolerance challenges, aggression, or difficulty expressing feelings, helping children navigate anger is a common part of our work.

Over the years, we’ve found that having a few go to tools and interventions can make anger management sessions more engaging, productive, and meaningful. Here are some of our favs:

1. A Feelings Wheel (or Anything That Helps Identify Emotions)

One of the first things I notice is that many kids can easily identify feeling "mad," but have a much harder time identifying what's underneath it.

When we slow down and explore emotions, anger often turns out to be disappointment, embarrassment, anxiety, sadness, hurt, or feeling left out.

Having a feelings wheel, emotion cards, or a visual feelings chart nearby can make these conversations much easier. It helps kids build emotional vocabulary and recognize that anger is often just one piece of the emotional puzzle.

2. An Anger Thermometer

Kids think of emotions as either "fine" or "exploding." An anger thermometer helps them recognize that emotions exist on a spectrum.

We can talk about:

~What a level 2 feels like

~What happens at a level 5

~What thoughts show up at a level 8

~What coping skills work best before reaching a level 10

This visual can be incredibly helpful for building self-awareness and emotional regulation.

3. A Coping Skills Toolbox

I love helping kids create their own personalized coping skills toolbox.

Some favorites include:

~Deep breathing

~Taking a walk

~Drawing

~Listening to music

~Stretching

~Positive self talk

~Talking to a trusted adult

The goal is helping children discover that they have options when big emotions show up.

4. Games (because therapy can be boring to kids)

If I can turn a skill into a game, I usually do. Who wants to sit and talk when you can play a game?!

Games help reduce pressure, increase engagement, and create opportunities for natural conversations. I've found that kids are more willing to talks shop with emotions while playing than when sitting across from me answering direct questions.

Whether it's a therapeutic board game, emotion cards, role-playing activities, or simple conversation games, play remains one of the most effective tools in my therapy room.

Here’s some more specific ones:

Chill Skills for teens https://amzn.to/4sw0WgO

Mad Dragon, Anger management (ages 6-12) https://amzn.to/4bfn7BI

Temper Tamers In a jar (ages 8-11) https://amzn.to/4uDzG1n

Anger Management workbook (ages 6-11) https://amzn.to/4dxVMfk

Anger Management workbook (ages 5-10) https://amzn.to/4bCCZge

5. Visuals for Problem Solving

Many kids know they are angry they just don't know what to do next.

When a child is upset, we can walk through questions such as:

~What happened?

~What am I feeling?

~What are my choices?

~What might happen if I choose each option?

~What is the best choice for me right now?

Breaking the process down into manageable steps helps children feel more capable and confident.

6. Sensory and Regulation Tools

Not every child is ready to talk through their feelings the moment they become upset.

Sometimes regulation has to come before reflection.

Having a few sensory tools available can make a huge difference. Stress balls, putty, fidgets, movement breaks, and grounding activities can help children calm their bodies so they can access the skills we're trying to teach.

7. Parent Collaboration Resources

One thing I've learned is that anger management work doesn't stop when the session ends.

The more caregivers understand what we're teaching, the more opportunities children have to practice those skills throughout the week. I like providing simple take home strategies, coping skill reminders, and behavior support ideas that families can easily implement at home.

Consistency across environments often leads to the best outcomes.

My Biggest Must Have: Flexibility

No intervention works for every child. Some kids love worksheets. Others would rather do anything else.

Some process verbally. Others communicate through play, art, movement, or storytelling. The most valuable tool we can bring into the room is the willingness to adapt our approach to meet the child where they are.

At the end of the day, anger management isn't about teaching kids not to be angry. It's about helping them understand their emotions, express themselves safely, and build confidence in their ability to handle life's challenges.